Behind the Masks
by RogueX321
Summary: Sillyfic. A parody of Behind the Music, X-Men-style. It's a documentary about life in the X-Mansion.


Disclaimer- Rogue,Wolverine,Gambit,Porfessor Xavior, Beast, Nightcrawler,Gambit, Jean, Jubilee, Mystique, and Storm do not belong to me as well as any other X-men appearing in this story. It is meant to be humorous and not to be taken serouisly. Only the idea is mine. 

*Theme Music* 

Host- Today on Behind the Mask's The X-men. A group of super hero's with super secrets. We take an inside look at the X-Mansion, and the X-men themselves. It's a world of love, Sex, Booze and the occasional hair ball. Now lets join Professor Charles Xavior in his office. 

Professor- Well the X-men started with a dream I had. Litterally. I remember dreaming of a Mansion filled with men in tight spandex pant's just....wait what were we talking about? 

Host- How the X-men got started 

Professor- Well as I said before thats exactly how it started. But then I had to recurit women. Scott was mad that day I tell you. Ever since then it's been a dream come true. There's always someone there to rub suntan lotion on my head, someone to fix my hover chair. Someone to take me to the "Old men with Hover chair's" convention's. It's been great. 

Host- Thank you. Now to everyone's favorite X-men Scott Summers. 

Scott- Um Hello.Being everyone favorite I naturally took on the role as leader. This is truly a dream come to life.Except for all the woman. Jean's noticed all her panties are strechted out. I blame it on Gambit. 

Host- Oh..right.. 

Scott- Logan and Remy both have fetish's for woman panties. Yeah I know. 

Shocking. It almost tore the team apart. I mean who wants to see those two walk around in a thong?(At this piont Cyclops does what is known as shitfy eyes) Not me.(He looks at his watch) Jean should be back soon. she went with Logan to do laundry. But she forgot all the quaters. 

Host- I'd like to do a little laundry with him myself.....I mean thank you for your time. 

Jubilee- Me next me next! 

host- Ok. you must be.... 

Jubilee-Jubilation Lee. 

Host-Yes I know. What can you tell me about your fellow x-men? 

Jubilee- Well every friday night we play scrabble. Everyone except Gambit that is. He is illiterate. He's hooked on phenix..I mean phonic's. 

Host- This gambit. His name keeps commin up? Why? 

Jubilee- Well you see he's the mansion's hot idiot. Sexy..but he can't talk. I don't know what he's saying half the time. But he knows french. Oui oui!   
Host- Yes that's interesting. 

Jubilee- And then there's Logan..we do laundry together. Storm's coll too, but a little dramatic. She is all I,Goddess of Thunder, summon the wind to blow this dirt away and send it the the bowls of hell. And when she said that she was vacuming. 

Host-Very enlighting. Where can I find...(looking at her paper) Rogue? 

Jubilee- Kitchen. But she packed on a few pound's. Depression cause she can't touch no one. 

Host-Thanx 

From the kitchen- I want my Baby Back Baby Back Baby Back ribs. 

Host- You must be Rogue? 

Rogue- A'h ate a baby! Baby the other other white meat! 

Host- I see........ 

Rogue- A'h I will eat y'all! 

Host-(To camera man) Lets get the hell outa here.... 

Rogue- You know Sug'ah you kinda look like a baby... 

Host-RUN!!! 

Nightcralwer-*POOF* 

Host- Who are you? 

Nightcrawler- Kuty Wagner. (I know he's not french but I cant do the German accent so im just writing Ze.) 

Host- Your not on my list. 

Nightcrawler- Im not on any ones list. Ze most hated X-men since Scott. 

Host- Wow...you hair..it..it really does something for me!!! 

Nightcralwer-REALLY!!! Ze only person who ever said that to me before was Beast! Then he coughed up a hair ball....... 

Host- Maybe..you wanna go do some laundry later? I'll..uh bring the quaters....... 

Nightcralwer- Maybe you want to tour the broom closet eh? 

Host-Thats all for this episode of Behind the Mask's! Join me next time when we take a trip to the Brotherhood's house. Here's a clip. 

(Can hear variuos make out noises in the backround) 

Mystique- Has anyone seen my tampon's?! Tampon's anyone? 

*The End* 


End file.
